The Gifts of Failure

The gifts of failure? What? No one aspires to failure, yet failure is something everyone will experience at some point and provides valuable lessons. Failure doesn’t feel good and for most, brings up feelings of inadequacy, fear, insecurity, embarrassment, defeat, disappointment and a host of other emotions. When we’re experiencing failure the seeds of self-doubt are planted which can lead to a crisis in confidence, courage and perspective. Most people wouldn’t view failure as a gift, but buried in the uncomfortable feeling of failure are multiple gifts.

You learn from it.

Perhaps one of the most valuable gifts of failure is that you will learn from it. No matter what the failure, there are lessons to be learned. It’s sometimes difficult to see the value of a failure while you’re going through it, but when you come out on the other side, with some time and space it’s easier to understand and appreciate what you learned. Most people carry the lessons of failure with them and their past failures are directly related to future successes.

Vulnerability.

Failure lets us and others know we’re vulnerable and human, which can be uncomfortable and leaves us feeling uncertain and emotionally exposed. Few welcome that feeling, but as Dr. Brené Brown has shown vulnerability can make our lives better and is important to our human experience. When we’re exposed our imperfect selves, emotions and performance are on display. Being vulnerable boosts our empathy, compassion and understanding, often making us more able to relate and relatable to others as well as develop deeper connections with people. Many leaders and those they lead benefit from this increased compassion and humanity.

Growth.

Like it or not, failure pushes us out our comfort zone which is how we grow, learn and gain confidence. In general we don’t like to feel uncomfortable; it’s why we happily reside in the confines of our comfort zone. Being uncomfortable forces us to take risks, face challenges and experience things we might not otherwise pursue. Successful departure from the comfort zone helps us gain confidence by rising to and overcoming unforeseen challenges.

Awareness.

Failure requires an often unwanted look inside. What was my role in the failure? You probably have an example of the “deflector” leader for whom nothing is ever their fault. We’ve all worked with plenty of people who can’t own their mistakes, but for most of us failure provides an opportunity to look not only at our performance, but our behavior. Self-awareness and self-refection are gifts that provide invaluable insights that we can use to grow, evolve and move forward.

Resilience.

The ability to bounce back from adversity and keep going when things get tough are traits of highly successful people. Failure teaches you to pick yourself up, learn the lesson and keep going. The more we flex our resilience muscle, the more agile we get at employing it when necessary. I’ve interviewed many serial entrepreneurs and resilience is a skill most of them have in spades. They risk, try, work hard, often fail, learn and move on until they have success.

Attitude.

My dad used to say attitude is everything and he’s right. When we fail, we can take on an attitude of I’m a failure and let is consume us to the point of wanting to curl up in the fetal position on the floor or we can take a healthier more positive attitude of “I failed, what can I learn and let’s move on”. As with anything in life, your attitude and perspective make a huge difference in how you view, experience and ultimately recover from events, large and small.

Opportunity.

Large or small, failure provides a new opportunity to try again, often in a different way, with a new perspective. The gifts of failure coalesce in the form of opportunity. Take your learning, growth, perspective, resilience and attitude and apply it to your next venture.

Despite the negative connotation of failure, failure does provide many gifts that benefit us as we move forward. Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.