5 Tips to Becoming a More Effective Communicator

Everything communicates. If that’s the case then why does it seem we have so many issues communicating effectively? The rise of social media has given everyone a voice and created a nation of broadcasters where we excel at sending the messages we want to send. Communication is a two-way street of sending and receiving, yet most of us navigate our daily lives through a series of one way roads where we send messages without much concern for how they’re being received. We don’t often look in the rear view mirror to understand the impact of our verbal and non-verbal communication. Non-verbal cues account for about 90% of our communication which is lost when we communicate in writing.

Listening is the receiving component of communication. Listening is a skill that must be exercised and developed like a muscle. Unfortunately, many people have forgotten or simply don’t know how to listen effectively. We spend more time thinking about what we’re going to say than listening to what’s being said. This lack of effective communication has created drama in the workplace, at home, in school and in nearly every facet of society. Most of us really want to be heard and understood, but don’t always extend the same courtesy to others.

All is not lost, you have the power to become a more effective communicator if you follow and actively practice these steps.

Be present

The first step to being a better communicator is being present. Whether it’s listening or messaging you will be more effective if you can learn to quiet your mind and focus on the communication at hand. For many quieting your mind from endless to-do lists to immediate deliverables can be a challenge. Presence is a personal journey, which like many of the keys to successful communication, requires practice to master.

The simplest place to begin is to breathe. Focus on your breath inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Try this for 3 cycles, each cycle taking about 6 seconds. In addition to breathing, put away all distractions so you can focus on the person or people with whom you’re communicating. No devices. Period.

Listen

I often say we have two ears and one mouth for a reason; we should listen more than we speak. Despite that, most people aren’t great listeners especially in the age of distracted multi-tasking. Becoming an effective listener will make you a better communicator, but it requires practice and discipline.

Being present is the first step in active listening, so put away any distractions, focus and breathe. Now that you’ve quieted your mind you’re ready to listen. Listen with your whole body, maintain eye contact and try not to fidget. Don’t think about what you want to say, keep your mind open and listen to learn. Being curious helps engage you in the conversation. Ask clarifying questions and parrot back what you think you heard to understand if you received the intended message. Listen for what’s not being said as often that’s as important as what’s being said. If the conversation is heated or emotionally charged, be sure to pause and respond instead of immediately reacting. Managing your own emotions can help you become a better listener. Exceptional leaders are exceptional listeners, but it takes lots of practice to master this skill.

Put your audience first

This may seem like an obvious statement, but many people don’t necessarily communicate with their audience in mind. We tend to think more about what we want to get out of communication than what we want our audience to get out of it.

The easiest way is to start with the end goal and work backward. What is the intention of your communication and what do you want your audience to take away? Do you want to inspire them to action or inform them? Understand where they are and what they need in order for your communication to resonate with them and move them towards the goal. If you only think about what inspires you and not what inspires your audience, your communication may miss the mark.

Keep it simple

The old adage about keeping it simple applies to all communication. Complication is easy, simplicity can be challenging. Think about what you want to say (and how it might be received) and keep it short, sweet and simple. In today’s world, we’re bombarded by messaging. If you include brand messages, we might see 10,000 messages a day. It’s no wonder attention is a scarce resource. When crafting a message keep it concise, positive and easy to understand, especially in written form. Our verbal nuances and tone are lost in written messages, so leave the sarcasm out (when in doubt, leave it out). Make sure you read your message before you send it. If you’re unsure of how it’s going to land have someone else read it for both content and tone.

Actions speak louder than words

Everything you do from how you treat people to what your workspace looks like sends a message about the type of person you are. In today’s world we are our reputation (or personal brand) and people will form impressions about you based on your actions, so it’s critical to be a person of your word and to do what you say you’re going to do. Many people don’t follow this advice and end up self-sabotaging their leadership and personal brand equity. Saying one thing and doing another is bad form and leads to dist

rust and dysfunction. Be an effective communicator by keeping your word and actions positive and consistent.

Improving your communication skills takes discipline, work and presence, but with practice you can master these 5 tips and be more effective in the art of communication.

“The art of communication is the language of leadership” –James Humes